Lucky Me

Lucky me. No, it’s not the instant noodles most of us Filipinos buy in the grocery stores. I just realized that out of all events that transpired for the past few weeks, I’m lucky that the people I truly care about are safe, well, at least for now.  Have you ever thought about it? We can’t really tell what tomorrow brings us. We may have planned ahead, but those plans will most certainly be disrupted. Sometimes by unspeakable things that only the mind of a corrupt human-being can do, sometimes by circumstances that nobody can ever prevent.
I’m all for making-your-own-path kind of mind-set. No one can blame anyone for whatever outcome results from one’s own actions. But is it really what it is? That I am responsible for whatever happens to me, or to any person who I have close ties with? NO. Just, no. Sometimes I wonder, if this whole vicious cycle will ever end. Will it be punctuated in bloodshed? I fervently hope not. It has just started out that way. But what can I do? It’s as if the entire universe conspired and made a sick joke out of this life. I can only do so much, kindle this rage I have inside. I can only hope I can retaliate in a more painful way. Inflict a damage tenfold more potent. But I can’t. I won’t. My moral compass is just so persistent, no amount of rust could ever cause it to fail and make me do unjust things.
Whatever it is that is somehow been “planned” for us, I wish it changes the game. I wish we wouldn’t have to endure what we’ve already gone through ages ago.